Good Grief

My classmate, Ally, recently wrote a blog about grief and the laments present in the book of Psalms. Ally says that the American culture is terrible at grieving, noting how us Americans busy ourselves with errands and work. As a result, Americans tend to other outlets, such as bumper stickers and tattoos, to grieve the loss of their loved ones. The link to her blog is as follows: http://allymatteson.blogspot.com/2013/06/a-grief-unobserved.html.

Reading Ally's blog has made me reflect upon my own experiences with grief. Although I have had relatives and grandparents pass away, I was not deeply affected by this because I hardly knew them. So, I will be reflecting upon my observations of friends and family and their dealings with grief. In the Indonesian culture, there seems to be a very communal dealing with grief. The outlets of bumper stickers and tattoos are foreign to me, and as I think upon that, I realize that those methods of grief are very individualized. They share with the world who they have lost, but they won't necessarily invite others in to grieve with them.

Unlike the American culture, in my Indonesian culture, one is not expected to go through grief alone. Just like some of the psalms of lament are communal laments, Indonesians tend to grieve together in community. I remember when my grandfather passed away, my mother and her sisters grieved together. They would reflect on their past together and help each other remember that their father is now with the Lord. In these times of grief they would also lift up each others spirits, joking around to spread some joy in the midst of their loss. Whenever my uncle passed away from cancer, my aunt led her children to grieve for their father. My aunt did not take my uncle's death lightly, and therefore she would bear the responsibility of saying "no" to parties and declining invitations to family reunions because the pain of her loss was too strong. She would also not permit her children to attend these parties and reunions because they were to grieve together as a family. Everything was done in community which makes the burden lighter to bear. I think that there's a comfort in knowing that others are willing to walk alongside you in this journey of healing and that there is a strength in the encouragement of others to push you forwards in life.